i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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