I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
