So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
