You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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