apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
