DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
