this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
