You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
