New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
