Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
