I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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