My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
