the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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