awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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