worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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