I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize