Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
