I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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