why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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