Sry I called you an 8
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
