we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
