At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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