just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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