Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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