I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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