My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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