Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
