I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
