Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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