She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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