How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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