thus making me awesome and them whores
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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