I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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