Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
