I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
