mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
