i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
