i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
