if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
