I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
