Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
