He kissed a someone with a penis
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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