she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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