You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
