Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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