Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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