I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
