Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
