dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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