Got a toothbrush?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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