I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i think my mom watched the whole time
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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