what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
