so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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