so that wasnt chicken after all
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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