Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
