He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
