it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
