its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
