I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
