A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
