ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize