I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
