Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
