He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
