i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
