I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
