Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
